Last Hope

Why do I keep crying?
The tears blurring the lines

My car swerving into other lanes

Triggering incidental crashes

Lights of my life snuffing out like birthday candles

Blown adrift by salty sea foam

The salty statements and saliva on my lips

Soaking my ripped jean heels

Unneeded, unwanted heels of bread

Tossed to the birds to peck apart

The vultures tearing at my insides

Pulling my heartstrings

Tight sorrowful violin strings

Taped strings of a crime scene

Suicide, 3:33 a.m.

Suffocation of the shadows  

They dance in the corners of her room

Darkness drowning her in mascara stains

Fountain pen ink swelling upon skin

Cascading screams of pain whispering “Help me”

The cigarette a fire starter in my house of cards

Of proudly cheating kings, loyal queens, and hearts

Spades uprooting clovers and dirt

An open box burial

Champagne splintered with wooded corners

A “good luck” cast away

My coffin within the swirling typhoon

A ship in a bottle, a water twister infested with sea creatures

Leeches latching to steal the last rose petal nectar

Vertigo and nausea rocking timid lullabies

As my cradle crashes down

My blanket, yesterday's newspaper

My diploma spent years on getting a signature

Lines of essays, choices, questions and microscopes

Organism placed on smooth glass slides

Wriggling worms, pestering parasites, and me

Translucent, see through

Needles proding my life

Experiment, therapy, medication

The blue colorless floor of the confidential room

Motivations listing the walls like a kindergarten play room

“SMILE”, “You can do it”, “Believe in yourself”

Demanding so much from me

Carpet crawling under the worn leather couch

Cracked with crying butts and weeping truths

The seams breaking

A needle splitting the future

Sewing my teeth shut at the jaw

Sleeves strapped of a straight jacket

Used t-shirts too close to choking me

Generic and structured

Like stained glass emporiums of worship

Tilted, a leaning tower of pisa

Leaned on for pictures of faded memories

Forgotten like take out pizza from 3 days ago

A memory where you know you visited

But you don’t remember my name

Cathedral of the Italian city

Roof top of a poetry sanctuary

A place for moaning and weeping

Nocturnal ink doesn't fade or smear

The pages up in fire of a burning tongue

Smoke in my breath from burning yesterday’s dreams

How many do I have left?

I’m running on empty

My car stalling in the turn lane

Car house collapsing

Melody and harmony strings snapping

Mind cold

Skin starving

Lost in some mind way alley

My last hope is in your snaps3

The stings of salvation in your fingertips

Please don’t let me go

Don’t let me drift

Don’t let me die

Don’t let me commit suicide