Grateful

I am grateful

For my feet that walk down these halls

The click clacks

That echo back

Reassuring me that the silence is dead

Not amplifying and screaming in my head

I am thankful

For those who try to handle

My mangled and decrepit form

From which my insanity was born

As they try to hold me back from the light

As I sit in my bed crying in the middle of the night

I am relieved

When I see how many people believed in me

They used their hands as bandages

They took in all the pain I handed them

For they held me close

As they soothed me to take my calming does

I am glad

For having my fear

The one that keeps me from being so severe

As I reach for a pen instead of a blade

Because I am so very afraid

Of loosing my life, not for myself

But for the sake of everyone else

I am in debt. with those who

Threw themselves onto my fire to prove

That no matter how much I burn them

Or throw them into mayhem

They still love me

Not matter how much of me they see

I am dearly thankful

For those who keep me from thinking

When I am alone too long I have a one way conversation

An argument of agreeance with my reflection

Where the existence I have is too complicated

And the life of the after and the unknown is beaconing  

I am insane and I am broken

With my voice and mind shattered I have spoken

About all that is right in my very wrong world

But with my sense blocked and my vision blurred

I know that is it you holding my hands

Keeping me from scratching my arms pondering absurd plans

But, I would never make it that far

Thanks to who you are