Abandonment Issues

Why won’t the words just click

Stick to the page

I’m sitting and poking my stick at the ground 

As the clock goes ticking around and around

Not too long now until I will be up in front of my friends 

And I thought my words would be heard 

But they left me…

Fine be that way 

You words in my head 

You will remain unsaid 

You made yourselves your prison 

For without you there is no vision 

You won’t have my writing or my voice 

This was all your choice 

You are so alone in my head 

Without you there are no 2 am stories in my bed

No songs to write 

Or imaginary rap battles to fight 

You are alone 

I can feel you weeping 

But your sad thoughts are seeping into me 

So please trace down to my fingertips 

So I may write you into scripts 

Come down and gently give my lips a gentle kiss

Because I miss you, my words 

Please come back

I am stuck with writer’s block

With my wrists and tongue at the stocks 

I miss the constant sickness of being verbally overwhelmed 

And the cramps when all the words were felt on my lips and pen

Come back! Please…

Without my words I am silence 

And in my silence I am in pain 

Please stop being a pouty child to blame 

I didn’t ground you! You are punishing yourselves 

Or am I just punishing myself…

Locking myself away from what I excel at 

Because… 

My mother doesn’t believe in me 

She trusts my words without a Heart

She never stares too long at my art 

As I aspire for a career of creativity 

She sends me into profession purgatory 

I want to make her proud but also be happy myself 

But I can only choose one…

Please words come back and show her I am the chosen one 

Help me prove to her I have passion 

Towards my abstract words of ration 

And that I could write 

Fleeting stories of love, death, and wit. 

But my mother you really should know 

I am done!

Endlessly dealing with the verbal fights about my future 

I am done! 

Pushing my words into your ears just to make you listen to me 

I am done! 

With editing my work just so you don’t have to see me for me

But now,

With no barriers of speech 

And with no writers block to apprehend me

I will face my mother and urge her to see

Me, my words, and my poetry