I'm scared to go to parties
I don't go and hang out
I'm always in a never ending war
I want to be apart of everything
But leave no one out
I love attention and the spotlight
But I don't like taking it
And many more people deserve it more than me
I always go when I'm invited
And try to invite as many as possible when I host
But as soon as I appear in the room I am a ghost
Invisible
Or at least I try to be
I don't sit when I'm not offered a chair
I don't eat until everyone is full
I don't sneeze or cough without leaving the room
Even during my own party I'm a slave to my guests getting this and that
I don't go and hang out
I'm always in a never ending war
I want to be apart of everything
But leave no one out
I love attention and the spotlight
But I don't like taking it
And many more people deserve it more than me
I always go when I'm invited
And try to invite as many as possible when I host
But as soon as I appear in the room I am a ghost
Invisible
Or at least I try to be
I don't sit when I'm not offered a chair
I don't eat until everyone is full
I don't sneeze or cough without leaving the room
Even during my own party I'm a slave to my guests getting this and that
Not spending a single moment on myself
Because I want them to enjoy themselves
Not deal with my selfishness
Even at sleepovers I will be the last one to go to bed
Because when the others are sleeping I clean up after them
Because I want them to enjoy themselves
Not deal with my selfishness
Even at sleepovers I will be the last one to go to bed
Because when the others are sleeping I clean up after them
Even sometimes doing the dishes or folding the strewn about clothes
I always leave the house cleaner than when I found it
I'm too scared to ask where the restroom is
In fear of embarrassing the host
And for taking up their time
It's not because I'm scared of people
But it's because I'm scared of hurting other people
I always leave the house cleaner than when I found it
I'm too scared to ask where the restroom is
In fear of embarrassing the host
And for taking up their time
It's not because I'm scared of people
But it's because I'm scared of hurting other people
But I worry people
Occasionally
At every party or event
I cry
Not by choice that is
But I get so overwhelmed by being by myself
But conflicted to join in for fear of taking someone else's attention
I hate to be alone but I also hate taking others attention
So I deal with it
That's why my friends think I'm sad or depressed or sick when I'm in a group
I lie and smile saying “No I'm grand, so have fun”
When in truth I feel like vomiting in the corner
Because I'm taking up someone else's space to stand or sit
As well as taking someone else's ability to breathe the air I am using
Just because I can't hold my breathe long enough
I don't go to parties
Because I love people
And I love showing off
But I know I am worthless compared to them
And other people deserve the spotlight more than me
So next time there is a party
Please do invite me
I would love to go
And be a ghostly guest for you