Not All Life is Visible

Life,

The definition is the animate existence of an individual

With deeper thinking this could become quite critical

With our own thoughts it would become mythical or biblical

But not all life is visible 

Yes, we have a many moments

A 1st grade birthday party

A hard chemistry exam

A high school graduation

A date with the one you love

An unexpected day that you had dreamed or dread to come

By the definition of life

I am alive

That is that I survive

I move

I breathe

I don't have to feel

To be considered alive

But for me to consider myself to be alive

I must strive

Never taking a test drive

A choice coming from me

Always thinking what I could be

Life,

The definition is the animate existence of an individual 

Never thinking once, how it could be miserable

Yet, life for me

Is not the same for you

There is nothing for me to do

To feel the way that you do

I can't understand the hopeless feeling
you get every day when you realized 
you woke up
not endlessly falling in nonexistence

A part of life where death is better

Twisting and turning the invisible rope in your hands

Dealing with death, the invisible dance

Juggling the pills bottles in your thoughts

Hoping the intention never comes across

A trigger of a gun being ticked by imaginary fingers

A feeling of dread starting to linger

As crying blood flows from slits and slices 
that run from razors cut sharp and hopeless

As your life is a vice 
holding you locked in place

I don't see a room of people 
like the guillotine stage 
or the hanging tree

Where one wrong word and

Every fake smile and glassy eye
with turn toward you with hands of knives 
And cut though you 
shredding you to ribbons

I don't experience the addiction 
Of adrenaline for alcohol
The crave for crack 
The hype for heroine
The madness for meth
How is tears at your insides
Like a monster in your blood
Wanting more and more and more

I don't see what scars are hidden under your clothes 
the pills that you hold close
the endless battles ranging in your head 
causing you to pull your own skin

A shine of hope shattered

Your whole world battered

Your life torn and tattered

Until you begin to flood
Go head under water 
Unable to breathe
some surface just scared and confused 
while others never surface

Stuck down in their own deep lagoon 

We are all missing pieces
shards of our mirrors

So our reflection though reflected is altered

With a bit of flawed perfection 

Even with background noise or radio static 
the good or bad accusations bleed to the the top of your life

Staining you

As bad memory

Like an intricate tattoo 

I don't know your way of life

Though one things holds us all true

We all die.

We all drop the burdening stones in our life

Leaving the sack of skin to hang on a coat rack

As we step away from our life we worked so hard at

To whatever happens next

A leap into the void

Or more so, an unwanted push

Free Falling

With no nets to catch me

I am gone

This for me, is fear

Fear, the definition,

An unpleasant emotion

Caused by the belief

That someone or something

Is dangerous,

Likely to cause pain,

Or a threat.

Though this is not a thing

Or a person

It is the essence of nothing

But is nothing, something?

It was nothing, until we gave it a name

Then it is something

This something as a nothing

Manifested in my brain

Forming images of my own grave

How years from now after I've passed

The only things left of me

Is a name on a rock

Of course most of us has this as fear

So less about that and more about me

Me and my anxiety

Such little ticks and tocks cause my brain to work like a clock

My blood running with an electric shock

Move fast body parts clash

Moving always in a dash

Get this done here, that done there

Quick quick

Back forth

Always forward

Do, don't, done, did, doing

How?! Now?!

What?! Where?! Why?! When?! Who?!

What am I going to do?

A fear, stuck to my DNA

Sewn into my brain

An anxiety

A fear, stuck inside me

Strangling me until I can't breathe

A struggle, with me crawling on hands and knees

Until I have cried with bloody tears

A fear...

Life,

The definition is the animate existence of an individual

But not all life is visible

For I am alive

But half dead

With this fear, stuck in my head